Are Young, Black Men Becoming Extinct?

It seems that within the past 5 years, there have been some highly publicized acts of violence against young, black men. Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, Jordan Davis, Jonathan Ferrell and countless other young, black men have died at the hand of violence. It seems that our society has a target placed on the backs of young, black men. It seems that people assume that all young, black men are gang members, thieves, rapists, or thugs looking to do someone harm. There is a serious danger in viewing people based on stereotypes or how they are perceived in the media, movies, and music. People have to stop making these assumptions because it is killing our young, black men. They are being hunted down and killed just because they look like they are up to something, not because they were doing anything illegal. Time after time, we are seeing the same scenario played out on our television screens; young, black man gunned down, unarmed, just walking from the store, looking for help after a bad accident, playing music too loud. These are not reasons or justification for shooting someone down in cold blood.

Another issue is when they put the victim on trial as well. Pictures of the victims looking solemn, sometimes mean and not smiling are pushed into our faces. Pictures of them smoking weed, Facebook posts talking about guns, school records about suspensions, friend's criminal records; all of these things brought to the forefront in an effort to justify the murders of these young men. If they were not committing any of those acts at the time, there is no justification for killing them. Even if they were, there needs to be probable cause to exact the kind of violence these young men endured; the illegal act should be extremely egregious. Their past is irrelevant and people need not to focus on that. They are not on trial, they cannot speak up for themselves and explain their previous actions. They are victims.

And for those who want to say this is not a race issue are clearly in the dark. I heard this a lot when I would go on rants on Facebook during the Treyvon Martin trial.  Just because our president is half-black and identifies himself as a black man does not mean that racism has magically disappeared. It is now carefully hidden; many are afraid to show and express their racist feelings. However, it is now spilling out and manifesting itself into violence. I guarantee you that these young men were viewed as a threat because they were black. It doesn't matter if the shooter was white, Hispanic, black (there are blacks that hate other black people and stereotype them), these young men were seen as a threat that needed to be extinguished. This type of violence is reminiscent of what was going on during Jim Crow, when young, black men were assumed to be looking at white women or disrespectful toward whites and were lynched because of it. They were seen as a threat and were killed as a result.

All of these incidents have caused my husband and I to reevaluate the discussions we have with our children. We now have to tell them how they should interact with someone that may approach them in a hostile manner. We now have to tell them when they are stopped by the police to not make sudden moves and to announce to the police when you are about to do something ("I am about to reach into my glove compartment and get my registration"). We now have to tell them to not be mouthy or sassy when the police question them so they will not be perceived as a threat. These conversations were not necessary 10-15 years ago, but due to all of the violence enacted up our young, black men, the dialogue has changed. This saddens me. I should be talking to them about having fun and being young instead of how to stay alive through adulthood. So I ask the question, are young, black men becoming extinct?

Bullying: The "Silent" Killer Among Our Youth

Growing up, I had my share of being picked on and bullied. We called it "cracking" on each other. Very rarely did it ever get physical, but there were times when it did. I remember a girl that used to bully me. Her name was Candy. She was much older and bigger than me, and she threatened to beat me up on a daily basis. I ignored her and eventually she moved onto another victim. Even though she did not torture me for an extended amount of time, what she did had an impact on me. I learned to ignore the bullies and stand up for myself if I deemed it necessary. However, in this generation, bullying has become a significant problem among youth. For some individuals it is so bad that they resort to violence, whether it is against themselves or others. The most recent incident at a high school in Ohio is bringing to the forefront again the severity and seriousness of bullying.

My stepson recently dealt with the issue of bullying. At first, the bully called him names, teasing him. Then, last week, it escalated into physical violence. The ringleader decided to gather up a gang, hit him with drum sticks, and use homophobic slurs towards him. My stepson did not retaliate (he said he did not want to appear off task), but he told an adult at the school, as well as his parents. I am proud of the way the school handled it; they promptly addressed the issue and punished all of the students involved. My stepson now feels safe and secure in going to school and does not have to worry about any issues with other students.

Now this situation has a happy ending, but many other children and teenagers do not have the same experience as my stepson. Many are afraid to speak out due to retaliation or the uncertainty of how the school or their parents may handle it. Many schools are not addressing the problem, or are afraid because they do not want the community to get upset if a star player on the basketball team has to sit out because of his or her bullying behavior. My question is how can we alleviate this issue? Is there a solution to this problem? Yes, there can be mediation programs created and teachers and other adults can be taught to recognize the signs of someone being bullied, but I think the root of the problem needs to be addressed. I believe parents are the key to the solution. We need to empower our children by instilling into them the importance of confidence and strength. In addition, we need to teach tolerance and acceptance of others. I think these two things can be begin to remedy the issue. I am not saying that if you do these two things, your child will not be a victim of bullying or become a bully, but it will give them the tools needed to not fall into the categories of victim and bully.Telling your children how special they are, focusing on their strengths, helping them to strengthen their weaknesses, and promoting positive self-esteem can give your child the ammunition he or she needs to deal with the bully head-on.Teaching tolerance is a key part of this equation as well. Parents need to teach their children that no matter how they feel or what they believe in, they should not treat someone different because of what they look like, who they love, or who they pray to or believe in. Accepting others for who they are is a difficult concept with bullies, but tolerance is necessary. Promoting positive self-esteem can give your child the ammunition he or she needs to deal with the bully head-on. Getting them involved in sports, theater, self-defense classes can help improve their self-esteem significantly. I tell my stepson and brother-in-law all the time not to pick on others because it is cruel, mean, and unfair to that person’s feelings and emotions. I wish there was a simple solution to the bullying problem. I wish that all of the children that have either committed suicide or acted out against others in a violent way could have been told how beautiful they are, how they deserved to be loved, how worthy they are to be alive and young. Our children are hurting and it is up to us to try to alleviate the pain. I know we cannot save everyone, but if we save one, it is a job well done.

The Sad State of Affairs - Entertainers and Drugs

As everyone knows, we lost a legendary singer this year, Ms. Whitney Houston. Many people saw her struggle with drugs and alcohol, the many trips to the rehab centers, and her quest to stay clean, as well as her inability to do so. She joins a lengthy list of celebrities that have succumbed to the pressures that Hollywood and others have put on them to constantly work and keep themselves in the limelight. It seems as if there is outlet for these individuals and many of them resort to drugs and alcohol to ease the pain in their bodies and in their souls. Many people may not experience that feeling, so they do not understand why someone with lots of money, fame, and fortune would resort to drugs.

I also feel that the media plays a role in how celebrities deal with their sobriety. False accusations, bad photos, and eyewitness accounts shape and mold how famous people are portrayed to the masses and in turn, how the public sees those celebrities. This was evident with both Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson. They were vilified by the media, and as a result, they probably lost a lot of fans. These individuals put their bodies, hearts, and minds through so much to please the people, but then the people turn their backs on them. It has to be heartbreaking.

I hope and pray that other celebrities will not succumb to the disease called drug abuse, but it is not likely. The pressure put on them by their fans, the media, and their "demons" are contributing to the downfall and destruction of many talented people and it is disheartened. I am very concerned for Lindsey Lohan, DMX, Sean Young, and many others that are already driving on the same highway as Michael, Whitney, and many others that have crashed and burned on the same destructive path. Let's hope they can get off and back on track before they meet the same deadly fate.