Growing up, I had my share of being picked on and bullied. We called it "cracking" on each other. Very rarely did it ever get physical, but there were times when it did. I remember a girl that used to bully me. Her name was Candy. She was much older and bigger than me, and she threatened to beat me up on a daily basis. I ignored her and eventually she moved onto another victim. Even though she did not torture me for an extended amount of time, what she did had an impact on me. I learned to ignore the bullies and stand up for myself if I deemed it necessary. However, in this generation, bullying has become a significant problem among youth. For some individuals it is so bad that they resort to violence, whether it is against themselves or others. The most recent incident at a high school in Ohio is bringing to the forefront again the severity and seriousness of bullying.
My stepson recently dealt with the issue of bullying. At first, the bully called him names, teasing him. Then, last week, it escalated into physical violence. The ringleader decided to gather up a gang, hit him with drum sticks, and use homophobic slurs towards him. My stepson did not retaliate (he said he did not want to appear off task), but he told an adult at the school, as well as his parents. I am proud of the way the school handled it; they promptly addressed the issue and punished all of the students involved. My stepson now feels safe and secure in going to school and does not have to worry about any issues with other students.
Now this situation has a happy ending, but many other children and teenagers do not have the same experience as my stepson. Many are afraid to speak out due to retaliation or the uncertainty of how the school or their parents may handle it. Many schools are not addressing the problem, or are afraid because they do not want the community to get upset if a star player on the basketball team has to sit out because of his or her bullying behavior. My question is how can we alleviate this issue? Is there a solution to this problem? Yes, there can be mediation programs created and teachers and other adults can be taught to recognize the signs of someone being bullied, but I think the root of the problem needs to be addressed. I believe parents are the key to the solution. We need to empower our children by instilling into them the importance of confidence and strength. In addition, we need to teach tolerance and acceptance of others. I think these two things can be begin to remedy the issue. I am not saying that if you do these two things, your child will not be a victim of bullying or become a bully, but it will give them the tools needed to not fall into the categories of victim and bully.Telling your children how special they are, focusing on their strengths, helping them to strengthen their weaknesses, and promoting positive self-esteem can give your child the ammunition he or she needs to deal with the bully head-on.Teaching tolerance is a key part of this equation as well. Parents need to teach their children that no matter how they feel or what they believe in, they should not treat someone different because of what they look like, who they love, or who they pray to or believe in. Accepting others for who they are is a difficult concept with bullies, but tolerance is necessary. Promoting positive self-esteem can give your child the ammunition he or she needs to deal with the bully head-on. Getting them involved in sports, theater, self-defense classes can help improve their self-esteem significantly. I tell my stepson and brother-in-law all the time not to pick on others because it is cruel, mean, and unfair to that person’s feelings and emotions. I wish there was a simple solution to the bullying problem. I wish that all of the children that have either committed suicide or acted out against others in a violent way could have been told how beautiful they are, how they deserved to be loved, how worthy they are to be alive and young. Our children are hurting and it is up to us to try to alleviate the pain. I know we cannot save everyone, but if we save one, it is a job well done.
Once again Mrs. Smith, you have hit the proverbial nail on the head. Bravo for another well-written and thoughtful post. I agree 100% with everything you said. One thing I would like to add is that as a society we need seriously need to examine our preoccupation with "machismo," and what defines how a man or a woman should act. I remember seeing kids get bullied in school because they were not deemed manly enough or strong enough. If they didn't play football or basketball, they were less of a man. Also, if some girls did not dress very "girly" or did not participate in cheerleading, they weren't feminine enough. We really need to take a look at gender roles, and how that affects our ability to be tolerant and accepting of others.
ReplyDeleteYes, people should accept others for who they are, regardless of whether or not they agree or like how others act. People should love one another and not judge.
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