Bullying: The "Silent" Killer Among Our Youth

Growing up, I had my share of being picked on and bullied. We called it "cracking" on each other. Very rarely did it ever get physical, but there were times when it did. I remember a girl that used to bully me. Her name was Candy. She was much older and bigger than me, and she threatened to beat me up on a daily basis. I ignored her and eventually she moved onto another victim. Even though she did not torture me for an extended amount of time, what she did had an impact on me. I learned to ignore the bullies and stand up for myself if I deemed it necessary. However, in this generation, bullying has become a significant problem among youth. For some individuals it is so bad that they resort to violence, whether it is against themselves or others. The most recent incident at a high school in Ohio is bringing to the forefront again the severity and seriousness of bullying.

My stepson recently dealt with the issue of bullying. At first, the bully called him names, teasing him. Then, last week, it escalated into physical violence. The ringleader decided to gather up a gang, hit him with drum sticks, and use homophobic slurs towards him. My stepson did not retaliate (he said he did not want to appear off task), but he told an adult at the school, as well as his parents. I am proud of the way the school handled it; they promptly addressed the issue and punished all of the students involved. My stepson now feels safe and secure in going to school and does not have to worry about any issues with other students.

Now this situation has a happy ending, but many other children and teenagers do not have the same experience as my stepson. Many are afraid to speak out due to retaliation or the uncertainty of how the school or their parents may handle it. Many schools are not addressing the problem, or are afraid because they do not want the community to get upset if a star player on the basketball team has to sit out because of his or her bullying behavior. My question is how can we alleviate this issue? Is there a solution to this problem? Yes, there can be mediation programs created and teachers and other adults can be taught to recognize the signs of someone being bullied, but I think the root of the problem needs to be addressed. I believe parents are the key to the solution. We need to empower our children by instilling into them the importance of confidence and strength. In addition, we need to teach tolerance and acceptance of others. I think these two things can be begin to remedy the issue. I am not saying that if you do these two things, your child will not be a victim of bullying or become a bully, but it will give them the tools needed to not fall into the categories of victim and bully.Telling your children how special they are, focusing on their strengths, helping them to strengthen their weaknesses, and promoting positive self-esteem can give your child the ammunition he or she needs to deal with the bully head-on.Teaching tolerance is a key part of this equation as well. Parents need to teach their children that no matter how they feel or what they believe in, they should not treat someone different because of what they look like, who they love, or who they pray to or believe in. Accepting others for who they are is a difficult concept with bullies, but tolerance is necessary. Promoting positive self-esteem can give your child the ammunition he or she needs to deal with the bully head-on. Getting them involved in sports, theater, self-defense classes can help improve their self-esteem significantly. I tell my stepson and brother-in-law all the time not to pick on others because it is cruel, mean, and unfair to that person’s feelings and emotions. I wish there was a simple solution to the bullying problem. I wish that all of the children that have either committed suicide or acted out against others in a violent way could have been told how beautiful they are, how they deserved to be loved, how worthy they are to be alive and young. Our children are hurting and it is up to us to try to alleviate the pain. I know we cannot save everyone, but if we save one, it is a job well done.

The Sad State of Affairs - Entertainers and Drugs

As everyone knows, we lost a legendary singer this year, Ms. Whitney Houston. Many people saw her struggle with drugs and alcohol, the many trips to the rehab centers, and her quest to stay clean, as well as her inability to do so. She joins a lengthy list of celebrities that have succumbed to the pressures that Hollywood and others have put on them to constantly work and keep themselves in the limelight. It seems as if there is outlet for these individuals and many of them resort to drugs and alcohol to ease the pain in their bodies and in their souls. Many people may not experience that feeling, so they do not understand why someone with lots of money, fame, and fortune would resort to drugs.

I also feel that the media plays a role in how celebrities deal with their sobriety. False accusations, bad photos, and eyewitness accounts shape and mold how famous people are portrayed to the masses and in turn, how the public sees those celebrities. This was evident with both Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson. They were vilified by the media, and as a result, they probably lost a lot of fans. These individuals put their bodies, hearts, and minds through so much to please the people, but then the people turn their backs on them. It has to be heartbreaking.

I hope and pray that other celebrities will not succumb to the disease called drug abuse, but it is not likely. The pressure put on them by their fans, the media, and their "demons" are contributing to the downfall and destruction of many talented people and it is disheartened. I am very concerned for Lindsey Lohan, DMX, Sean Young, and many others that are already driving on the same highway as Michael, Whitney, and many others that have crashed and burned on the same destructive path. Let's hope they can get off and back on track before they meet the same deadly fate.